HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!! (it's better late than never)

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HAPPY 11th ANNIVERSARY ARASHI!!!

all i wish is that you guys stay the same... make more people happy and inspire them to keep following their dreams... never loose hope and wish you guys ALL the best!

You guys made me meet new friends, friends i know i never met personally but i know in my heart we were bonded by one love and inspiration... and that is because of you... not only that... i admit... i do not speak Japanese and i'm proud that i'm striving to learn how to speak, read and write it but ... i want to learn your language not because i want to know the lyrics or the things you guys are saying in your shows or dramas but understand it well and get good lessons in life from it...

hope you keep on STORMING us with your love!!!

ARIGATOO GOZAIMASU!!!

Blah Blah Blah... >.

i feel like i want to give up...

i feel like i don't want to fight anymore...
all i wish was a normal college life... all i want is peace...

but being a communication arts student... i just cannot let people do unjust things...
i really want to stop myself from voicing out what is wrong... but it seems that my mind dictates me to do so... that i should do something to change the administration in our school... but...

because i'm a graduating student... i have to "bow down" on all their wishes... i have to shut up and pretend that i did not hear and see anything but... what should i do if i feel it does not match up with what i am fighting for??? for what i right...?

i became a student leader and my eyes were opened to the 'dirty' works in our school... some school administrators make the students suffer by accusing them of things like breaking a rule or harassing them thru their grades... that is so UNPROFESSIONAL! if they feel that a particular student is a hindrance to their personal profit they would mark their T.O.R with low grades... who the heck would accept a student with low grades...? Do you think a student would have a brighter future with such garbage???

Now that my term on the student council ended and after leaking it to the religious administration of their corrupt actions, i suffer the same thing my fellow students are also undergoing, i am being harassed thru my thesis work. I want to cry... i want to surrender... there also came a time that i blame myself for such... i feel sorry for my thesis colleague for dragging her to this situation... i feel like it is all my fault for standing up and fighting for what i believe is right...

sometimes i ask myslef: Why am i a fighter? i blame myself for being one...

and a while ago... me and my colleague are harassed again... i saw her cry, telling me that she had enough. that she can no longer handle such harassment... i want to cry but... i feel like if i shed a tear infront of her that would not help her to stay strong...

i went to the comfort and cried to my heart's content... i feel like i have reached my limit...

but when i went back to the office of Communication Department, i saw my own adviser crying... she blames herself for being useless and for not doing anything to protect us... i feel bad... i feel ashamed of myself for dragging both of them to my problem... i excused myself and went outside to be alone until a friend of mine came and ask what is wrong... i told her everything... the only thing she told me was:

"Problems make you a stronger person... take it as a challenge... God never gives a problem to person if she can't endure it..."

i know she is correct but... how i wish i could survive this...

until now i don't know what to do... should i continue living for what i believe in or let myself devour to their wishes...?